I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
