kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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