Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
