I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
