you would pick up someone in the library
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
