My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I skipped work to stalk him.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
