Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
