Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
