there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
