you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
