Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
