I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
