You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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