Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
