Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
