the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
