i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
