I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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