If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
