And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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