You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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