Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
