who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
