On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think your dad took our porno
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
