just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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