Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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