I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you had me at cake vodka
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
