U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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