Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
