Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
