dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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