i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
