I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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