okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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