3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
