so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
