Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
