Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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