if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
