I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
