Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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