after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this will be a night to untag.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
