i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
