i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
