I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
