I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
