i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
