Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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