Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He felt like a one man threesome
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
