white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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