Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I fill condoms, not promises.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
