tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
