If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
