No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
